You can get a USB cable in a package, but that doesn’t mean you have to put the cable inside your package i.e. your penis.
If you have a penis or empathize with penises, a new case report published in the journal Urology case reports can make you cringe. For the case report, a team from University College Hospital in London, UK (Ioannis Loufopoulos, Konstantinos Kapriniotis, Clio Kennedy, Sabareen Huq, Thomas Reid and Ashwin Sridhar) detailed what happened to a boy of 15 year old who decided to insert a USB cable into his urethra, opening his penis.
Although USB stands for Universal Serial Bus and “universal” seems to imply “everywhere,” there are limits to where a USB cable should go. For example, it usually shouldn’t go in your spaghetti. Instead, people tend to use USB cables to connect computers to peripherals like cameras, printers, scanners, and storage devices. Note that this list does not include your penis. And, in general, your penis is generally not considered a device, no matter what name you give it. Your penis is not something that can be pulled out and easily attached to different things.
Nonetheless, the saga described in the case report began when the teenager decided to insert the USB cable into his penis through his urethra. Now, such a statement usually calls for a follow-up question, such as “why the hell did he do this”, rather than an answer like “naturally” or “of course he did”. Well, the teenager finally told doctors he did it “to measure the length of his penis triggered by sexual curiosity.” But let’s not anticipate the story, so to speak.
When he tried to remove the USB cable from his urethra, he couldn’t. Instead, he noticed blood in his urine. This prompted him to go to the emergency room. Doctors first tried using a scope to remove the cable. And in this case, scope didn’t mean a kaleidoscope, telescope, or mouthwash.
Instead, they inserted a rigid cystoscope into her urethra. Such a scope can have a blade or a laser that can cut tissue inside the urethra to help loosen and remove the cable. While the words “blade”, “laser”, or “cut” next to the words “urethra” and “penis” may sound like a lot, like “OMG”, invasive, it is actually the least invasive way to treat a. urethral problem. However, this procedure could not remove the cable due to a knot in the USB cable. This led to the patient being transferred to the department of University College Hospital with more experience and expertise.
There, the teenager requested to be examined in the absence of his mother. After all, it wouldn’t be your usual mother-son conversation. The teenager then described to the doctors who wrote the case report everything that had happened. Doctors found no evidence of pre-existing physical or mental health problems.
Next, doctors took x-rays to confirm “the exact position and shape of the formatted node, and the patient has been transferred to the theater,” in the words of the case report. Here, theater meant operating room and not cinema or Broadway-type theater. It wouldn’t have been the time to see The Phantom of the Opera.
In the operating room, surgeons made an incision in his penis, noticed that the cable had been cut into two segments, and then removed the two segments. After stitching up his urethra and penis, surgeons then inserted catheters so that the urine could bypass the affected area for a while to allow it to heal. Two weeks later, doctors checked the area, found no leaks or excessive scar tissue, and removed the catheters.
It was certainly not the first case of someone trying to insert an object into their urethra. Where there is a hole, there is a way. The case report mentioned a lot of other things that people put in their urethra. This included other reports of needles, pins, wire, pistachio shells, plastic forks, spoons, metal screws, aluminum, pieces of cardboard or paper, staples, writing utensils such as pens and pencils, coaxial cables, spray foam sealant and other items, as described by a publication in Urology. Yes, apparently you could fill a desk drawer with things people put in their urethra.
Your penis, of course, is not a purse, pocket, or pincushion. You shouldn’t say to anyone, “Do you want me to wear this for you?” I can put it in my penis. It is a bad idea to store anything in your penis apart from happiness and whatever is already inside your penis naturally. If you want to measure the length of your penis, there is something called a ruler. If your answer is “Well the ruler is not long enough” then use two rulers, a tape measure, or a GPS. Or come back to this thing called reality.
If you want some sexual arousal, there are plenty of other options like talking in a bad way or discussing stock portfolios. And if you tend to do unusual and risky things when you’re drunk, don’t drink alcohol or wear a cast-iron chastity belt every time you do.
If you want to avoid getting pregnant, try a condom instead. Last month I covered for Forbes the case of a man who used an epoxy adhesive to seal the opening of his penis before having sex with his partner. It was an example of not having any glue on contraception.
There are many reasons why you shouldn’t put objects near or in your urethra besides âooooooouuuch !!!! Â»You can introduce bacteria or other pathogens that can cause unpleasant infections. You can damage the inside of the urethra so that a narrowing or urethral structures occur and then block the passage of urine. You can puncture your urethra or even your bladder, which can be a surgical emergency. Oh, and if all of these other issues aren’t causing a problem, you may be affecting your ability to get an erection.
It is generally a bad idea to put computer equipment and accessories in your body. Of course, they don’t tend to have warnings on their packaging such as “do not use on your penis”. Likewise, your penis does not come with warning labels. However, keep such equipment away from your equipment. A Wi-Fi USB dongle can be called a dongle, but that doesn’t mean that a USB cable has to go into your, well, you see the picture.